I am asked rather frequently about how I felt about teaching, what did I love, what kept me going. Those who ask are most frequently young teachers who have been in the classroom for a couple of years, for whom the excitement has worn thin in the face of pay issues, work load, unsupportive admin....the things that seem to torment us in every generation. Those teachers want to know...and so did I.
I posed the question to my "long suffering" husband. Of course I had to first wade through his litany of smart aleck answers, which ranged from "You did it to get rich!" to "You did it to meet famous Broadway actors!" to "You did it because Gandhi's job was already taken..." But then he looked me in the eye and told me the simple truth. "You did it for the kids. You still do it for the kids. Darlin" (he always calls me Darlin' when lecturing me), "Darlin', you did it because you cared about the kids. Those kids meant something to you that was so much more than just the show you were working on, or even the most basic concepts of mime. What was important to you was that you taught them how to be people. By teaching them to get up on stage and recite lines, to perform in front of an audience, to work backstage building and painting a set and all the other details of high school theatre, you taught them how to be people. Because of you, those kids learned that they had to not just talk to other people, they had to learn to COMMUNICATE with them. They had to learn that most basic of societal values, trust in one another. Kids learned that the Drama classroom was a safe place, long before there were "safe places." A kid could come into your classroom and pour their heart out and be not just heard, but understood. You created an environment where teenagers could learn to be themselves. At the same time you gave no one a free pass. While anyone could come in for support, they also learned quickly that they had to, in turn, be supportive. They had to listen as well as talk, to be understood they had to learn to understand. I am sure that some of the kids would have figured all this out on their own, or perhaps in a science lab or English classroom. But it was in Drama that they were pushed to learn, support and then teach. They figured out that even the one on stage alone, delivering a soliloquy, is not really alone. They are surrounded by a cast and crew and guided by a teacher." I thought he was done, but then he started again, "Now Darlin', you may think that is where your impact ended, when the show closed, the semester ended and the kids went on to other things. But that is NOT where it ended. Everyone of those kids who went through your classroom took away abilities that made them better. There are the obvious ones who went on to careers in the entertainment industry, or that girl who was so afraid to speak in front of a classroom and is now a successful businesswoman who regularly speaks to strangers. Then there are the ones who appear out of nowhere, twenty years on, who stop by on social media to say "Thanks, thanks for saving me." "Thanks for teaching me to be better." "Thanks for giving me a place and a voice in the world." Or the ones who have not a word to say, but just hug you for a reason they cannot express. You did it and you found job satisfaction in each and everyone of those kids whose life you touched, and more than a couple whose lives you saved. When you teach theatre, no matter if it is just a simple children's theatre production or the depths of Shakespeare, you are and have taught them much much more than just reading a line."
At this point I thought about the kids whose lives I had impacted and how good that made me feel, when I was interrupted with another "darlin'" moment.
"But Darlin', don't go getting all thrilled with yourself. Remember, I know lots of other theatre teachers. I had to put up with them at how many festivals, Thespian meetings and conferences. I knew the whole gamut of them, men and women, young ones and old ones, and every single one of them did and does the same things. That is why they loved teaching and teaching theatre kids. They all made a difference, they all cared."
And that my friends, when you sit and wonder "Why, why I do it?" this is the why. You make a difference. You make that kid better, you prepare them for the world, and sometimes you even save a life.