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I have a student that I cast in a recent production. I was shocked to see the Mom backstage in the dressing room. Her daughter was the one who was upset and sent someone to tell me. When I went in the dressing room there she was giving advise on how to do makeup etc. ( she was a drama major in college). Anyway, noticing that many of the cast had completed there makeup, I sent everyone to the green room and suggested the mother go in the house as we would begin soon. She also invited herself to the cast party. I'm hesitant to cast the student in another show without some sort of policy. Any suggestions?
Sent from my iPhone

Hi, firstly- you need to create a policy for student safety that no one is permitted in student dressing rooms who is not 1. employed by the school/ school system 2. a named member of production staff. For one thing, it is totally inappropriate for an adult to be in the dressing room where teenage students will be getting dressed. You run the very real risk that one of your students will tell their parents about this and those parents will take the issue of exposure to your school board. If she somehow meets the above criteria then you need to give her  specific job to do. If her job is not to be doing makeup on students then tell her so. Primarily- tell her to get out. Just say it. If she doesn't like it tell her to take it your administration. I doubt they'll see any reason for her to be back there. Generally you should have a no-one but cast and crew in any backstage area rule and you should train your own students to enforce it. Generally I don't even allow parents backstage until 35 minutes after show has ended at the end of the night. Granted, I have a parent group with specific duties and work to do on show nights but they are so busy they don't have time to hang around their own children.

I hope this helps.

------------------------------
Victoria Kesling Councill
Chapter Director - VA EdTA/ Virginia Thespians
Theatre Director- Fine & Performing Arts Department NKHS
Artistic Director - NKHS Trojan Theatre
Artistic Director - Kent England Exchange Production
Virginia Commonwealth University BFA Theatre Education, BFA Art Education '08
University of Houston - MA in Theatre Candidate '16

"Love the art in yourself and not yourself in the art." - Konstantin Stanislavski

Original Message:
Sent: 12-19-2015 20:05
From: Michelle Potter
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

I have a student that I cast in a recent production. I was shocked to see the Mom backstage in the dressing room. Her daughter was the one who was upset and sent someone to tell me. When I went in the dressing room there she was giving advise on how to do makeup etc. ( she was a drama major in college). Anyway, noticing that many of the cast had completed there makeup, I sent everyone to the green room and suggested the mother go in the house as we would begin soon. She also invited herself to the cast party. I'm hesitant to cast the student in another show without some sort of policy. Any suggestions?
Sent from my iPhone

My advice is.... Put her to work! If she was a drama  major in college, then she might actually know a thing or two. I use parents quite a bit for makeup and hair, costume sewing, set building, props, etc... Sometimes these parents can become your best friends! 

------------------------------
Suzanne "Mama" Craig
HS Theatre Director
Lipscomb Academy High School
Nashville TN

Original Message:
Sent: 12-20-2015 16:48
From: Victoria Kesling Councill
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

Hi, firstly- you need to create a policy for student safety that no one is permitted in student dressing rooms who is not 1. employed by the school/ school system 2. a named member of production staff. For one thing, it is totally inappropriate for an adult to be in the dressing room where teenage students will be getting dressed. You run the very real risk that one of your students will tell their parents about this and those parents will take the issue of exposure to your school board. If she somehow meets the above criteria then you need to give her  specific job to do. If her job is not to be doing makeup on students then tell her so. Primarily- tell her to get out. Just say it. If she doesn't like it tell her to take it your administration. I doubt they'll see any reason for her to be back there. Generally you should have a no-one but cast and crew in any backstage area rule and you should train your own students to enforce it. Generally I don't even allow parents backstage until 35 minutes after show has ended at the end of the night. Granted, I have a parent group with specific duties and work to do on show nights but they are so busy they don't have time to hang around their own children.

I hope this helps.

------------------------------
Victoria Kesling Councill
Chapter Director - VA EdTA/ Virginia Thespians
Theatre Director- Fine & Performing Arts Department NKHS
Artistic Director - NKHS Trojan Theatre
Artistic Director - Kent England Exchange Production
Virginia Commonwealth University BFA Theatre Education, BFA Art Education '08
University of Houston - MA in Theatre Candidate '16

"Love the art in yourself and not yourself in the art." - Konstantin Stanislavski

Hi Michelle,

I didn't want parents hang around backstage so I created a backstage pass that all cast and crew wore. Some were just backstage passes and some had the additional dressing room access explicitly stated on the badge. This resolved the issue because even the newest Freshman could ask a parent to leave because they didn't have a backstage pass. Anyone who questioned was told to see me. That way the students could get rid of parents backstage and blame it on me. It worked like a charm for years.

Regards,

Bob

------------------------------
Robert Smith
VA Co-Chapter Director
James Madison High School
Vienna VA

Original Message:
Sent: 12-19-2015 20:05
From: Michelle Potter
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

I have a student that I cast in a recent production. I was shocked to see the Mom backstage in the dressing room. Her daughter was the one who was upset and sent someone to tell me. When I went in the dressing room there she was giving advise on how to do makeup etc. ( she was a drama major in college). Anyway, noticing that many of the cast had completed there makeup, I sent everyone to the green room and suggested the mother go in the house as we would begin soon. She also invited herself to the cast party. I'm hesitant to cast the student in another show without some sort of policy. Any suggestions?
Sent from my iPhone

Clear Policies need to be in place-- just as parents are not allowed in the locker room or on the field during sporting events-- neither should they be backstage for rehearsals or performances unless they are working. One of our parent jobs was actually the backstage guard---  no one gets through unless they have a specific job. All of this is explained at the parent meeting-- along with the statement that parental feedback/notes about the production are not necessary     The director knows the mics need fixing-- the director knows the actor wasn't in the light--   Parents do not need to add more stress to the student's lives by trying to direct them in the production.  For parents to do this will often cause conflicting messages to actors and uneccessary stress levels.   It is a parents job to be supportive.  That's it-- make it clear form the get go and have parents sign the policy code of behavior after students are cast. And by all means-- put those parents to work!  

------------------------------
Jeanne Mayo
Sykesville MD

Original Message:
Sent: 12-19-2015 20:05
From: Michelle Potter
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

I have a student that I cast in a recent production. I was shocked to see the Mom backstage in the dressing room. Her daughter was the one who was upset and sent someone to tell me. When I went in the dressing room there she was giving advise on how to do makeup etc. ( she was a drama major in college). Anyway, noticing that many of the cast had completed there makeup, I sent everyone to the green room and suggested the mother go in the house as we would begin soon. She also invited herself to the cast party. I'm hesitant to cast the student in another show without some sort of policy. Any suggestions?
Sent from my iPhone

As others have mentioned, there is a definite liability to having parents backstage.  In our school corporation, we have to have ALL parent volunteers go through a background check once a year.  

Then, we put them to work.  We all know there are jobs for everyone.  Find out what she's good at, and have her mentor the kids in that area.  Of course, you probably want to talk with the student first after this situation, to find out how she feels about mom being there.  Perhaps it makes the child not enjoy theatre as much with a helicopter parent there.

------------------------------
Raymond Palasz
English/Theatre Faculty; Thespian Troupe Director
Lake Central High School
Schererville IN

Original Message:
Sent: 12-21-2015 07:55
From: Jeanne Mayo
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

Clear Policies need to be in place-- just as parents are not allowed in the locker room or on the field during sporting events-- neither should they be backstage for rehearsals or performances unless they are working. One of our parent jobs was actually the backstage guard---  no one gets through unless they have a specific job. All of this is explained at the parent meeting-- along with the statement that parental feedback/notes about the production are not necessary     The director knows the mics need fixing-- the director knows the actor wasn't in the light--   Parents do not need to add more stress to the student's lives by trying to direct them in the production.  For parents to do this will often cause conflicting messages to actors and uneccessary stress levels.   It is a parents job to be supportive.  That's it-- make it clear form the get go and have parents sign the policy code of behavior after students are cast. And by all means-- put those parents to work!  

------------------------------
Jeanne Mayo
Sykesville MD

As with many other problems, the solution to this one lies in education.

Think about it: parents want to help their kids. But, if they've watched too many TV shows or movies where "the school play" is basically a free-for-all, then they're liable to think that's how it is. They have no way of knowing otherwise unless someone tells them. In some cases, today's parents may be doing what their parents did at a time when the school play was a free-for-all and parents had to fill in because "nobody knew what they were doing."

Schools are about teaching, specifically about preparing people for the real world. In this case, you can teach both the students and their parents some aspects of theatre and still come out smelling like a rose. Get them to understand that you know what you're doing and that you're creating a professional atmosphere for the students. When backstage, the actors need to focus on their roles and avoid distractions, and the techies have to focus on their jobs, and so forth. If a parent wants to help, show them what the job is and what it isn't.

Putting together some kind of intro booklet, as someone suggested, is a great idea, since it shows you're organized and have specific goals in mind. It's also a way to recruit parents who really want to help. You can change it as needed from year to year, but the most important thing is that, each year, everyone sees the same information in the same manner.

------------------------------
George F. Ledo
Set designer
www.setdesignandtech.wordpress.com
www.georgefledo.net

Original Message:
Sent: 12-19-2015 20:05
From: Michelle Potter
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

I have a student that I cast in a recent production. I was shocked to see the Mom backstage in the dressing room. Her daughter was the one who was upset and sent someone to tell me. When I went in the dressing room there she was giving advise on how to do makeup etc. ( she was a drama major in college). Anyway, noticing that many of the cast had completed there makeup, I sent everyone to the green room and suggested the mother go in the house as we would begin soon. She also invited herself to the cast party. I'm hesitant to cast the student in another show without some sort of policy. Any suggestions?
Sent from my iPhone

Hi, and can I sympathize!  I'm the costume designer/teacher at a private school, where helicopter parents are allowed to roam freely.  Many years ago, we set a "no groupies backstage" rule, explaining about possible insurance liability, lack of actor and crew focus, etc. from well-meaning but in-the-way visitors of ALL ages.  (Oddly enough, one groupie who gave us quite a bit of trouble was a teacher who had been involved in theatre, and she was convinced our makeup was ALL WRONG and offered to "help"...I was careful to take her aside and explain that it has to be the STUDENTS' work, because how else will they learn to improve?  Thankfully, she eventually got the point.)  Now, we leave it to the director to decide how long after a performance students can stay in costume and get hugs/photos, but out in the stage area, NOT backstage.  So far, so good!  Also, a parent who offered to help with costumes has turned out to be a terrific costumer, so that can happen too!

------------------------------
Joanne Buyniski
Whitinsville MA

Original Message:
Sent: 12-21-2015 12:40
From: George Ledo
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

As with many other problems, the solution to this one lies in education.

Think about it: parents want to help their kids. But, if they've watched too many TV shows or movies where "the school play" is basically a free-for-all, then they're liable to think that's how it is. They have no way of knowing otherwise unless someone tells them. In some cases, today's parents may be doing what their parents did at a time when the school play was a free-for-all and parents had to fill in because "nobody knew what they were doing."

Schools are about teaching, specifically about preparing people for the real world. In this case, you can teach both the students and their parents some aspects of theatre and still come out smelling like a rose. Get them to understand that you know what you're doing and that you're creating a professional atmosphere for the students. When backstage, the actors need to focus on their roles and avoid distractions, and the techies have to focus on their jobs, and so forth. If a parent wants to help, show them what the job is and what it isn't.

Putting together some kind of intro booklet, as someone suggested, is a great idea, since it shows you're organized and have specific goals in mind. It's also a way to recruit parents who really want to help. You can change it as needed from year to year, but the most important thing is that, each year, everyone sees the same information in the same manner.

------------------------------
George F. Ledo
Set designer
www.setdesignandtech.wordpress.com
www.georgefledo.net

I agree with what's said, on both sides. Backstage passes - I'm stealing that one! Education of all parties is essential, both parents and students, and enforcing that consistently. 

In our program, my dedicated, repeat students are mixed in fairly often with my first time ever's in class productions, so I can relate to how strict one has to be in order to make this work. I used to let the odd 'friend' stay because 'that's my ride home and she's got nowhere else to go', but it took me a little bit to realize that they were eating the cast meal, trying to get away with not paying to see the show, and so on. So I became a lot more straightforward in insisting that it be cast and crew only. The parents that I do have helping are wonderful, in that they understand what's needed and support the kids rather than do it for them. They also understand that their extra help does not translate into favoritism (something I say right at the beginning of any 'volunteer' transaction, very politely, very nicely, as you'd be surprised how nothing is really 'freely offered'). I explain that I've had parent volunteers who expected 'payment' for their help in the form of main roles for their child, which is why I bring it up before they commit to helping. It keeps the air clear when one presents it upfront. 

I would make use of the parent, though, if she's willing to be supportive of your goals and your program. Talk with her and lay emphasis that it is the students who need to do the work in order to learn, but you'd love to have her as a mentor. Move her out of the dressing room for liability, make sure she's 'certified' (our school has a background check system for any parent volunteers called 'SERVE' which all parent helpers have to sign off on) and this could be a really good thing for your program and your students. Unless she's a helicopter nag and a pain that crushes her child's spirit by her presence (dealt with those before - not pleasant), then you need to work the opposite way and get her out, and protect your program. It's hard to know which way you're leaning from your post - you seem upset with the parent, understandably, for her unsolicited intrusion, as you should, so I'm not sure if you want to blast her or make use of her. Both options are totally fine, and it's whatever works best for you! Hope this helps. 

------------------------------
Phillip Goodchild
Theatre Arts Instructor/Assistant Department Head of English
National Board Certified
Ruskin FL

Original Message:
Sent: 12-22-2015 07:28
From: Joanne Buyniski
Subject: What do I do about a drama momma?

Hi, and can I sympathize!  I'm the costume designer/teacher at a private school, where helicopter parents are allowed to roam freely.  Many years ago, we set a "no groupies backstage" rule, explaining about possible insurance liability, lack of actor and crew focus, etc. from well-meaning but in-the-way visitors of ALL ages.  (Oddly enough, one groupie who gave us quite a bit of trouble was a teacher who had been involved in theatre, and she was convinced our makeup was ALL WRONG and offered to "help"...I was careful to take her aside and explain that it has to be the STUDENTS' work, because how else will they learn to improve?  Thankfully, she eventually got the point.)  Now, we leave it to the director to decide how long after a performance students can stay in costume and get hugs/photos, but out in the stage area, NOT backstage.  So far, so good!  Also, a parent who offered to help with costumes has turned out to be a terrific costumer, so that can happen too!

------------------------------
Joanne Buyniski
Whitinsville MA