Open Forum

I'm not an educator, so I can't really relate to how kids behave and react in a school setting (and I haven't been in school for a long time). However, this might be one of those cases where the often-apparent (or often-perceived) disconnect between educational theatre and professional theatre can be called in -- so it can be pushed aside.

Me, personally, I would ask the kids to watch a few TV or movie scenes where the characters kiss (maybe including a clip from Oklahoma!) and just explain that this is sometimes required as part of the story. They're not kissing. They're actors acting (and not "pretending" -- that's a whole different thing). When they're "kissing," they should not be looking at the other actor, but at the other character.

IMDB is great for this. The Trivia pages on many movies have bits about how two actors who were in a love scene could not stand each other. So they put personal feelings aside, called up the characters they were portraying, and acted. They did their jobs.

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George F. Ledo
Set designer
www.setdesignandtech.wordpress.com
www.georgefledo.net
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-13-2019 12:48
From: Jennifer Avery
Subject: Kissing

I have managed to go 5 years teaching middle and high school without making the kids kiss.Well, last year in a comedic quick moment, we pulled one off. But it was still a huge deal. Otherwise I have been able to get by with a kiss on a hand, a hug, a pose...etc.

We are doing Oklahoma! I truly believed that our department had matured enough to now add very simple kissing to a production. We were going to do the love scene with Curly and Laurey last night, but they had been good-naturedly hounded all day, throughout the school, about their "big day."  I mean, from teachers, even. We decided to just work on choreography. 

I know how to approach this, how to treat it like choreography, blocking, making sure they are telling the story. But I am still open to suggestions.  We are not a performing arts school. But these kids are very dedicated, passionate. I think I owe it to them to encourage this commitment. Communication is very open. 

Thoughts?

Original Message------

I'm not an educator, so I can't really relate to how kids behave and react in a school setting (and I haven't been in school for a long time). However, this might be one of those cases where the often-apparent (or often-perceived) disconnect between educational theatre and professional theatre can be called in -- so it can be pushed aside.

Me, personally, I would ask the kids to watch a few TV or movie scenes where the characters kiss (maybe including a clip from Oklahoma!) and just explain that this is sometimes required as part of the story. They're not kissing. They're actors acting (and not "pretending" -- that's a whole different thing). When they're "kissing," they should not be looking at the other actor, but at the other character.

IMDB is great for this. The Trivia pages on many movies have bits about how two actors who were in a love scene could not stand each other. So they put personal feelings aside, called up the characters they were portraying, and acted. They did their jobs.

------------------------------
George F. Ledo
Set designer
www.setdesignandtech.wordpress.com
www.georgefledo.net
------------------------------

I feel differently about this with middle school students than I do with high school students. In middle school, I never had the kids actually kiss, but I became very adept at blocking kisses that looked real.  We always approached the scene from the needs of the script and discussed our 'fake' kisses with cast and crew- approaching the process as being respectful of actors taking a risk (just like they might be asked to take a risk when doing a scene in class or a different extra-curricular show.)  After awhile, the kids passed down what they called 'kiss etiquette' because- for them- doing something like this was what 'real actors' could do without a lot of fuss or muss- and they wanted to be mature enough to even handle their cast-mates' fake kissing like 'real actors.' Towards the end of my time with those kiddos, we produced "The Music Man." Our Harold and Marion were good friends, had known each other for years, and even had their parent's permission to do a 'real kiss.' I still said no.  I didn't want any of the younger kids coming up feeling they might be put in that type of situation when they were not ready.  A faked stage kiss blocked to look real can be intimate and uncomfortable for 11-14 year-olds, and pushing them to really kiss is not necessary.

In high school (and I have only worked with this age group in summer theatre programs), I think we can either block a kiss to look real or actually do it depending on the script, type of trust we have built with our actors, and the goals of the students in the roles. 

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Suzanne Katz
Washington DC
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Original Message:
Sent: 02-13-2019 12:48
From: Jennifer Avery
Subject: Kissing

I have managed to go 5 years teaching middle and high school without making the kids kiss.Well, last year in a comedic quick moment, we pulled one off. But it was still a huge deal. Otherwise I have been able to get by with a kiss on a hand, a hug, a pose...etc.

We are doing Oklahoma! I truly believed that our department had matured enough to now add very simple kissing to a production. We were going to do the love scene with Curly and Laurey last night, but they had been good-naturedly hounded all day, throughout the school, about their "big day."  I mean, from teachers, even. We decided to just work on choreography. 

I know how to approach this, how to treat it like choreography, blocking, making sure they are telling the story. But I am still open to suggestions.  We are not a performing arts school. But these kids are very dedicated, passionate. I think I owe it to them to encourage this commitment. Communication is very open. 

Thoughts?

I direct both high school and middle school. With high school, the students are told when they audition that a part has kissing, so they can ask questions and we can talk about the context. If it is going to be a real kiss, they work with only the director and stage manager in the room at first, until they are comfortable.

With middle school, we have developed a "tradition" that the whole school knows. At the point when the two people are leaning their faces together, someone from the cast runs in with a large "PG-13" sign and holds it in front of the pair. It always gets a laugh, and relieves that tension for the actors. It can be pretty funny in rehearsal, because the sign is about 2 1/2 feet wide and we have to confince the pair that in order for it to look real, they can't have a foot of space between their bodies

------------------------------
Wendy Harms
Theatre Arts Instructor
Manitou Springs High School
Manitou Springs CO
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-13-2019 12:48
From: Jennifer Avery
Subject: Kissing

I have managed to go 5 years teaching middle and high school without making the kids kiss.Well, last year in a comedic quick moment, we pulled one off. But it was still a huge deal. Otherwise I have been able to get by with a kiss on a hand, a hug, a pose...etc.

We are doing Oklahoma! I truly believed that our department had matured enough to now add very simple kissing to a production. We were going to do the love scene with Curly and Laurey last night, but they had been good-naturedly hounded all day, throughout the school, about their "big day."  I mean, from teachers, even. We decided to just work on choreography. 

I know how to approach this, how to treat it like choreography, blocking, making sure they are telling the story. But I am still open to suggestions.  We are not a performing arts school. But these kids are very dedicated, passionate. I think I owe it to them to encourage this commitment. Communication is very open. 

Thoughts?

I would definitely suggest scheduling a rehearsal with just Curly and Laurey (and the director/stage manager) so that they can practice the kiss without an "audience." Not only is this likely to make things less awkward, but it also creates a safe space where they can communicate freely and you can make sure that both actors are comfortable and having their needs respected.

I also really like what Suzanne had to say about "kiss etiquette" -- and I agree that, when you approach an issue with students from the perspective of what professional actors would do, it often incentivizes them to set the bar high for themselves and behave with more maturity. In this case, I would have a conversation with the cast about the group's responsibility to the story you are telling. When any student gives Laurey and Curly a hard time about the romance/kiss, they are making it harder for Laurey and Curly to do their jobs. That impacts the whole cast/crew, whether or not they are in the scene, because everyone is part of the same show and telling the same story. It's their responsibility to lift other actors up, not bring them down.

It's disappointing to hear that other teachers are giving them a hard time about the kiss -- it might be good-natured, but it's really not appropriate or helpful. I'm not sure what the best advice would be since it could be a difficult thing to bring up with colleagues, but if you have a good relationship with any of the teachers in question, maybe you could have a dialogue with them about the issue.

Good luck!

------------------------------
Elizabeth Berg
Drama Teacher
Ashland Public Schools -- Ashland Middle School
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-13-2019 12:48
From: Jennifer Avery
Subject: Kissing

I have managed to go 5 years teaching middle and high school without making the kids kiss.Well, last year in a comedic quick moment, we pulled one off. But it was still a huge deal. Otherwise I have been able to get by with a kiss on a hand, a hug, a pose...etc.

We are doing Oklahoma! I truly believed that our department had matured enough to now add very simple kissing to a production. We were going to do the love scene with Curly and Laurey last night, but they had been good-naturedly hounded all day, throughout the school, about their "big day."  I mean, from teachers, even. We decided to just work on choreography. 

I know how to approach this, how to treat it like choreography, blocking, making sure they are telling the story. But I am still open to suggestions.  We are not a performing arts school. But these kids are very dedicated, passionate. I think I owe it to them to encourage this commitment. Communication is very open. 

Thoughts?

I have been working with high school theatre students for 18 years now. My students know, and we have a reputation for, performing to the highest caliber professionalism as possible. The students know they have to go the extra mile, even if that means kissing on stage. I always discuss with my students the importance of being professional and not cheating blocking or character because something may be outside of their comfort zone. That is part of being an actor after all. I remind them we are telling a story and they are characters on stage not themselves. Because I instilled this in them years ago, and it carries through to the new students we get every year, they are all aware that we will always be as authentic to the show as possible, including kissing scenes. Actually because of this reputation I never get any pushback or unwarranted teasing from the rest of the cast. The students, although they may be nervous about it, are ok with the kissing because they know it helps to drive the story and bring honesty to the stage.

So when I have kissings scenes I always tell the actors at the start of the rehearsal process, or even auditions, that they will indeed be kissing on stage. I then work the scenes and rehearsals as I normally would and we don't really discuss the kissing part until a few weeks into rehearsal. I like to give them plenty of time to process and mentally prepare for the fact that they will be kissing on stage. This also gives them time to become more comfortable with each other as actors and build up that trust.

When the time comes I do a private rehearsal with just those individuals in the room so they can get out all the nerves and jitters without the entire cast looking on. Sometimes it takes a little bit for them to kiss the first time (lots of nervous giggling) especially if this is their first kiss ever (on stage or off). It may take a little coaching, like "put your hands on his shoulders" "put your arm around her waist" "tilt your heads to the right" "now touch lips". Sometimes for the first timers it helps if it is blocked out step by step. It helps them get their mind off of the romance part and uncomfortableness and to worry only about the simple basic mechanics (movement) of it. The romance will come later.  I do find that once the first kiss happens the nerves disappear and then it's no big deal for them. 

Once we bring it in front of the rest of the cast I do tell everyone that the kiss will be happening and that they are to remain professional about it. No cat-calling, giggling or pointing. This is simply part of the story we are telling.

------------------------------
Jillian Lietzau
Englewood CO
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 02-13-2019 12:48
From: Jennifer Avery
Subject: Kissing

I have managed to go 5 years teaching middle and high school without making the kids kiss.Well, last year in a comedic quick moment, we pulled one off. But it was still a huge deal. Otherwise I have been able to get by with a kiss on a hand, a hug, a pose...etc.

We are doing Oklahoma! I truly believed that our department had matured enough to now add very simple kissing to a production. We were going to do the love scene with Curly and Laurey last night, but they had been good-naturedly hounded all day, throughout the school, about their "big day."  I mean, from teachers, even. We decided to just work on choreography. 

I know how to approach this, how to treat it like choreography, blocking, making sure they are telling the story. But I am still open to suggestions.  We are not a performing arts school. But these kids are very dedicated, passionate. I think I owe it to them to encourage this commitment. Communication is very open. 

Thoughts?