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  • 1.  Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-21-2015 18:24

    ive been doing this for a while now and I don't think I've ever received an email where the sarcasm so blantnatly dripped.  The email is posted below.  Struggling for how to respond.  A bit of context here.  This is an independent private school in a very wealthy area of Connecticut.  The student is a Seniot.   The show is INTO THE WOODS.  She was cast as Jack's Mother.  Here is the email I got yesterday . . .

    Once again, ******* has come up short.

    Thank you for instilling such a great sense of confidence and value in her and her skills.

    We really appreciate all you've done for her and are particularly excited that our Thanksgiving holiday has gotten off to such a great start!

    lovingly yours, 

    ******

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    Jason Peck
    St. Luke's School
    New Canaan CT
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  • 2.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-21-2015 18:38

    The first time I got an email like that, I went to a colleague who is older and wiser and much more experienced in these matters. She read it and said, "ok." I said, no...not ok! How do I respond. Then she asked me, "did she ask for a response?" I read it again and realized that no, the parent didn't ask for a response. She told me to not respond. So I didn't and that was the end of it.

    I've continued to use that advice anytime I get what I've coined the" venting emails". So far it's been fine. I do usually forward them to my administrator with a note that since the parent hasn't asked for a repsonse, I won't be providing one, but I do want them to be aware in case the parent chooses to escalate.

    As a side note, Jack's mother is one of my favorite roles in that show!

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    Laura Steenson
    Theatre Director
    Reynolds High School
    Troutdale OR

    Original Message


  • 3.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-22-2015 17:54

    Jason,

    Sorry you were subject to the venting of a parent.  We all would like to think a parent to br more rational than that.  I agree with Laura.  No need to respond because it does not call for one.  I have been teaching for 38 years and have never had to endure such a response from a parent.  Unfortunately, email, etc has made it easier to respond quickly before thinking.  I am sure if the parent were to speak with you face to face, he/she would not have been so bold.  It's much easier to say it in an email, but emails last forever.  They do not go away.  We are constantly preaching to our students about how all this social media, emails, pictures.....do not erase from cyber space.

    Forward to an administrator and let them know you did not respond....same advice.  It will go away....let it go.  You made the choice as a director.....thank you for making your choices...they are difficult.

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    John Freeman
    Mount de Sales Academy
    Theatre Director / Fine Arts Director
    Macon GA

    Original Message


  • 4.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-22-2015 08:51

    I remember in my third year of teaching receiving an email from a parent that was blatantly against my casting decision for their daughter and even went so far as to blame me for destroying their family! Although this was an extreme case, I advise sending this directly to your administration with a "head's up" note. If this student has an advisor, you may want to keep them in the loop. I would not respond to this letter because that may make things worse with a personality like that. So infantile!!! These kind of parents infuriate me! They usualky have no clue what goes into a production. I am also assuming that since you have been doing this for a while, your community knows and respects the casting decisions you make. There is no need to justify or explain your decision unless this student came directly to you.

    Good Luck!

    ------------------------------
    Jennifer Jordan
    Drama and Dance Director
    Miss Hall's School
    Pittsfield MA

    Original Message


  • 5.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-22-2015 11:23
    I wouldn't honor that with a response. If they're going to make trouble, refer them to admin now. Sheesh.
    Last year a parent tried to get me fired for not casting her daughter as the lead in Antigone.
    This year casting musical has caused more hurt feelings than I have ever seen. The only parent comment this year was a dad asking me what I do to help prepare the kids for rejection? Valid.
    I will be looking in to rejection workshops.

    Scott Hasbrouck
    George Washington HS
    Denver, CO


    Original Message


  • 6.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-23-2015 06:53

    I once tried to enroll into a rejection workshop but they turned me down.  I'm still reeling from the humiliation.

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    Stephen Benjamin
    Director of Theatre Arts
    Garfield Heights OH

    Original Message


  • 7.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-23-2015 09:39

    Good one, stephen. 

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    Ryan Moore
    Theatre Teacher and Forensics Coach
    Royal Oak MI

    Original Message


  • 8.  RE: Responding to a parent email . . .

    Posted 11-23-2015 11:37

    I would also contact your administrator to give a heads up and not respond to the parent. I would, however, have a response ready in case the issue doesn't go away and send your pre-planned response to your administrator for approval. I had an extreme email during summer (3 pages long) about every possible situation that was "unfair" to the individual student (and that was sent not only to me but to my administrator and one of the assistant superintendents). I created a response that addressed every individual issue and sent it to my administrator. It was never sent to the parent and the issue quietly went away. 

    In my experience, not answering an email like that leads to one of two outcomes. 1) the issue naturally disappears as it is not fed, 2) the parent goes directly to the administration to continue pressuring you. If it is the first outcome, and you've sent a response to your administrator, then nothing is lost and if it's the second outcome your administrator already has your thoughts on the issue and can handle the situation (hopefully) without having to involve you further.

    If your administrator isn't artsy I'd try and compare it to a sport.  Something like "this part may not be the quarterback but is a tight end on the varsity team" (not really knowing anything about football I hope that's a good example).

    Remember, no matter what you do somebody is going to be disappointed. It comes with the job and is a natural part of the art. *sending happy thoughts*

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    Shira Schwartz
    Chandler Unified School District
    Chandler AZ

    Original Message